Carnation, Fuchsia, Magenta, Salmon, Hollywood Cerise, Cherry Blossom, Coral, French Rose, Thulian, Amaranth, Puce, Rowan Berry. . .
No matter how you try to spin it, they still wrap newborn girls in it.
PINK
Nice on flowers, retarded on guys.
Guys, above almost any other rule- you do not wear pink. It's not fashionable, it's not daring, real men do not wear it... real men watch football, fart, go days without showering, study fantasy football for 5 hours straight, play xbox for weeks, skip school to watch march madness, play pickup basketball games while drinking, drive like assholes, scratch, grill outdoors in November, eat $16 of Taco Bell in a single sitting, eat mac and cheese with hot dogs... you get the picture.
It might not always be pretty, but of all the things that a real man does- wear pink is not one of them. Pink shirts, ties, hats, boxers... none are acceptable.
So guys and gals, I implore you, next time you see some retard adorned in some bastard shade of pink, beat him with a bag of doorknobs- its your civil duty.
Rule # 6 - Any guy sporting any pink, is obligated to turn in his man card, and then go play in traffic.
Saturday, April 14, 2007
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
"I'm not sure if you heard me counting. . . I did more than a thousand. . . "
For many- the ultimate in guy-related sleaze is to hit on, or pursue a girl who is too intoxicated to think for herself. She is vulnerable, not in her correct state of mind, merely a shell of who she may actually be- often times, completely unable to defend herself.
Generally, common offenders are guys with no morals, a complete disregard to spoken, and unspoken social rules, and for the most part- absolutely no game.
I am not questioning that this is in fact the sleaziest thing a guy can do, but rather to offer up a similar situation, almost as sleazy, and completely underrated.
We have all seen him, at the gym for hours at a time- most of which is spent admiring himself in the mirror of the free-weight room. Ipod strapped around the bicep, sleeveless shirt- a little notebook in hand. . .
Okay, so that's most guys at the gym, so I will narrow it down a bit. He is also the guy that finds it necessary to hit on every girl trying to workout. These poor girls have to deal with the aggravation of some muscle-bound chud trying to talk to them as they kill themselves on an elliptical machine.
These girls, much like those intoxicated at a bar or party, are often times trapped, cant defend themselves from an onslaught of guys with no game, and even less of a clue to match. Anyone that has ever worked out understands that it can be so exhausting that telling some moron to leave you alone might just not be an option, just as anyone that has had too much to drink can empathize with the fact that what you might be able to identify as a bad idea, doesn't mean you can actually do anything about it.
So for all of you girls trying to get your exercise out there, this is for you. Guys, the ladies are not there for the gun show, couldn't care less that you can lift a truck over your head, and aren't talking to you out of interest, you've simply strategically trapped them on whatever machine they may be using. So for their sakes, and yours, leave them alone.
Rule # 82 - Don't, under any circumstance, ever attempt to hit on a girl at the gym.
Generally, common offenders are guys with no morals, a complete disregard to spoken, and unspoken social rules, and for the most part- absolutely no game.
I am not questioning that this is in fact the sleaziest thing a guy can do, but rather to offer up a similar situation, almost as sleazy, and completely underrated.
We have all seen him, at the gym for hours at a time- most of which is spent admiring himself in the mirror of the free-weight room. Ipod strapped around the bicep, sleeveless shirt- a little notebook in hand. . .
Okay, so that's most guys at the gym, so I will narrow it down a bit. He is also the guy that finds it necessary to hit on every girl trying to workout. These poor girls have to deal with the aggravation of some muscle-bound chud trying to talk to them as they kill themselves on an elliptical machine.
These girls, much like those intoxicated at a bar or party, are often times trapped, cant defend themselves from an onslaught of guys with no game, and even less of a clue to match. Anyone that has ever worked out understands that it can be so exhausting that telling some moron to leave you alone might just not be an option, just as anyone that has had too much to drink can empathize with the fact that what you might be able to identify as a bad idea, doesn't mean you can actually do anything about it.
So for all of you girls trying to get your exercise out there, this is for you. Guys, the ladies are not there for the gun show, couldn't care less that you can lift a truck over your head, and aren't talking to you out of interest, you've simply strategically trapped them on whatever machine they may be using. So for their sakes, and yours, leave them alone.
Rule # 82 - Don't, under any circumstance, ever attempt to hit on a girl at the gym.
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