Thursday, February 22, 2007

does clothing really require instructions?

Just a couple of quick observations regarding two very simple fashion accessories, and their grotesque misuse as of late. Sunglasses and scarves. The two serve very distinct purposes, and yet, they confuse people in ways that I cannot begin to understand.

Lets start with scarves. The purpose of a scarf, at least as I have always understood, is to keep one's neck warm. Makes sense, they are generally made of warm, soft materials- have yet to see a scarf made of sand paper- and hit the shelves of most popular stores just before it starts to get cold out. Amazingly, when it starts to warm up, the scarves disappear from the shelves.

Generally, one takes said scarf, when it is cold, and wraps it around their neck, to bridge the gap that the collar of a jacket cannot cover up. And yet- confusion. Lately, I have seen people, many people, wearing these scarves INSIDE, often times, without a jacket. And not just the ladies as some may think, guys too! I mean really, guys? Your killing me here. Scarves are not cool, they are functional at best, they look cute on girls, when they are cold, otherwise they just look retarded. If you are that desperate to wrap something around your neck at all times, I am sure I can come up with a solution for you.

Now, sunglasses. Even easier, sunglasses really only serve a purpose when the sun... is out... and potentially in your eyes. One place this will never happen however, is inside. Label me simple, but I simply do not understand the sudden influx of indoor sunglasses use. It does not make you mysterious, it makes you weird, unless your at a poker table... in which case there is a great chance your still weird.

Rule # 137 - No scarves indoor if your a girl.
Rule # 137a - No decorative scarves if your a guy.
Rule # 84 - Unless your at a poker table, or your Jim McMahon, no sunglasses indoor.

6 comments:

Kate said...

Agreed.
I hate it when people wear sunglasses inside. So lame-o.

Noel said...

Wow. You're totally picking on my friend Christina in this one:

http://viewmorepics.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=viewImage&friendID=81150657&albumID=0&imageID=3408691

That's her myspace picture lol. She's a sweetheart though.

D Shiz said...

After reading your blog, I saw this chick in the mall wearing a scarf and a tee shirt, but she wasn't holding a jacket. This got me to thinking, in what type of weather can you wear both a scarf and a tee shirt, but no jacket.

Dan Mexico said...

in no type of weather is this ok

Sexy said...

ur picking on me motherfucker. sunglasses inside-paranoia gotta hide. scarfs are an acesssesory, plus i dont realize when im wearin em sometimes- and thats all i got

Sexy said...

what if ur like bobby brown or something. sunglasses inside?
and what if ur a gay man. decorate that scarf cause ur a friggin diva