The Zebra Effect

Origination :
Location - Irish Times (second floor)
Date / Time - March 2nd
Parties Involved - Dan / Jimmy / Drae / Priscilla

Back Story - The group of four of us were enjoying one another's company on the second floor of Irish Times, throwing back a few soda's doing a bit of people watching, when we realized that for over 2 hours, not a single attractive girl walked past us (not that they would have to go out of there way to do so, in order to get to the club, everyone would have to walk past us at one point.)

After about two hours, a group of girls walked up the steps from the first floor, none of which had any redeemable qualities (not kidding, it was a rough night) except for what I thought was one girl in the group. In typical fashion, I pointed out the girl to the rest of our group, when we all at the same time noticed that she, like the others, was in no way good looking.

What happened you ask?

Apparently, when a group of unattractive girls travel in packs, there is always the risk that all of the ugly can confuse an onlooker, like myself, and possibly lead me to believe that one of them was attractive, much like when a pack of Zebras surround one another to confuse a predator.

Rule # 128 - Beware of the Zebra Affect

moderation, ladies. . .

Guys, ever been in a situation where you see an attractive girl, nicely dressed, seems classy enough, speaks with at least some semblance of intelligence- and then get leveled with a blast of some overly-potent perfume or fragrance spray?

Maybe you haven't, or maybe you have and just never gave any though to it. Either way, it is certainly something worth noting. Just like anything else, the proper smell is something that needs to be achieved through a little thing called moderation.

There is a very distinct difference between a girl that smells good, and a girl that smells TOO good, and it cannot be ignored. I am not proposing that girls should be stinky, please understand that. However, unsuspecting guys everywhere, be aware of the fact that a girl that smells too good, probably smells that way for a reason. They may smell too good to be true.

Which should make anyone nervous, because anyone that needs to make that strong of an effort to smell THAT good, probably either;

1.) smells THAT bad to begin with...
2.) is trying way too hard to bring attention to herself. (consider girls who fake tan entirely too much to be a more prolific example.)

Trust me, you want nothing to do with either scenario.


Rule # 64 - You can't trust a girl that smells TOO good.

keep those collars down

Not every asshole pops their collar, but you can rest assure that everyone who pops their collar is an asshole. To be very blunt- nothing makes me want to kick a puppy more than some chud in a polo with his collar popped up around his ears.

Collar popping has become the international symbol for all things "that guy," and has spread to the point that there are multiple variations of the collar pop. The collar pop has evolved from the classic, single "polo-pop", to the notorious "jacket / polo" combo, more commonly seen in times of cold weather, to the dreaded "double collar pop."

If your popping multiple collars at this point, your full blown to the point where not even Magic Johnson can save you- because not only are you consciously deciding to wear a polo as an undershirt (retarded), but one collar is simply not enough to contain how much of a complete tool you really are.

Rule # 13 - Under no circumstances shall your collar ever be popped.